Just as every other girl, growing up I spent a substantial amount of my teen years looking for my own voice in fashion and life. Although I experimented and tried many different styles and way too many fashion flops, there were always those things I was afraid to explore. On many sides I was a highly confident teen, but when it came to dressing myself I was all about hiding what I considered to be flaws, and in my teenage head there were nothing but flaws.
One of the things I was most self conscious about back then (besides the heroin chic I was sporting, that’s a whole different post) was my skin tone. Although I look just like my mom and she always was and still is the epitome of beauty in my eyes, I was often teased about my complexion and as I tried to take it in good humor, I couldn’t help but conclude what “counts” as beautiful, and according to my findings, I definitely wasn’t it.
Back when Rihanna was in middle school and Beyonce has yet to have run the world, I had a hard time finding any other role models I could relate to or pull ideas from, the grass was always greener next door, and I spent too much time wishing I was a fair skin blonde.
It was way down the line when I learned to count my blessings, and by that time I had already spent years hiding. I didn’t care much about being like everyone else, but I sure tried to use every tactic to keep people from commenting about my body. I would wear two pairs of pants to hide my super skinny legs, and would NEVER wear bright clothing. The second part was not much of a struggle since to this day I’m not the most adventurous of fashionistas, but I was kind of annoyed with even having to make those calculations.
Needless to say none of those methods ever worked. I was a late bloomer and later realized that was actually okay and at times even better. As cheesy as it may sound, rocking a yellow dress is one of my blooming triumphs, my own little personal style win. What’s yours?
Wearing: 2nd Day dress, Mango heeled sandals, Jewelry by Classic Jewelry (Haifa).
Photography by Max Bluestone.