I hope you liked our wedding posts so far (If by any chance you missed them, you can read all about it here and here), I sure had so much fun reminiscing and sharing our planning and overall experience with you.
In 11 months of wedding planning you learn a whole lot about yourself, your relationship and even your friends & family.
Though it’s truly a magical time and I absolutely loved planning our wedding, it sure can be stressful at times and it’s easy to loose yourself in the process.
That’s why I wanted to share with you some insights I’ve gained along the way among with a few wedding planning tips and tricks that will hopefully help you take it in stride and enjoy the road towards the aisle.
But first, a few logistics and a word about delegating.
2 pairs of shoes, 2 shirts for your groom, 2 sets of good underwear and even two dresses (or in my case a dress and a jumpsuit), the one thing I’d say is truly important to have on your wedding day is backup. The wedding day is so eventful and busy and you just never know what you might need, so in this case – always better safe than sorry.
As you can see, through this process and on your wedding day itself, there are many small details and tasks to remember and manoeuvre and it wouldn’t be so smart to try and take it all upon yourself. Release control and let your made of honor take over. Mine took care of literally everything from great champagne and morning playlist, to the more technical tasks such as making sure my dress won’t get wrinkled, my hair is in its place and that we’re both happy and well fed. She also packed up all the things we left at our hotel room and made it her mission to make our day as easy breezy as can be.
My wedding day would look a whole lot different without her and I can’t wait to return that favour one day.
You can never please everyone, so just do you:
This is one rule I always try to live by, and when it comes to wedding planning it takes a whole new, stronger meaning. From your venue of choice to wedding date and flower settings, it seems like everyone around you has an opinion on what you should do. As much as you’d like to please everyone it just can’t be done, so build your game plan with your spouse, get into a positive headspace, and leave all else aside.
Don’t piss away your budget:
When you go deep into planning mode, everything you touch seems like the biggest must and before you know it your money is all gone. Your wedding will be amazing due to the simple fact that it’s YOURS. Create your priorities and build your budget at the very beginning, this will keep your expenses in check later on and help you look at things in the right perspective.
Follow your gut:
Though you want to keep a level headed, responsible approach when managing your budget, life is a balance act, so don’t give up on whatever it may be that matters to you and do your best to make sure the compromises you make aren’t too painful.
But most importantly- if something doesn’t feel right, don’t do it – or you’ll be kicking yourself later.
Put your heart into it, but don’t loose your mind over every little detail.
This was MY biggest challenge. Your heart and style will make the wedding your own, so it’s actually smart to put good thought into your choices. Personally I was so proud and excited to give the planning process my all and see our wedding become “ours”. I did it first and foremost for us two, and the memory we’ll have of our wedding.
That being said, I spent way too much time moving the text on my wedding invite half an inch to the right or left and consumed so many hours on things only I will know and notice.
Only bite what you can chew:
For the most part I managed to follow that lead, but in hindsight (which as you know is always 20:20) I would hire a decorator instead of taking our wedding decor upon myself. This added so much stress to an already stressful time and was truly unnecessary, so even though it did save us quite a bit of money and turned out lovely, it wasn’t my brightest move.
On the other hand, I took many tasks I loved doing and truly enjoyed, and I guess many other brides would have the best time doing DIY decor for their wedding, so the key is to find what works for you and stick to it.
Create an organised (yet flexible) list and share your tasks with your significant other. In our case, we each took on what the other one dislikes doing or not as good at. Max took care of many of what I perceived as boring logistics (negotiations, phone calls, schedule), and I took over the creative side.
Have realistic expectations:
You should make the effort and match your expectations with your wedding suppliers and your partner. Be specific and do not assume they know what’s on your mind. If needed, go the extra mile and create a list of what’s important to you.
That being said, You can plan everything down to a tee, but some things still won’t go as expected. Prepare yourself for that option, embrace it, and most importantly – try not to dwell on it after the fact. Instead, focus on all that went right, have fun with it and keep the “hiccups” as a funny memory you can someday tell your kids about. Once you finished planning, let go and let god.
Almost six months into my marriage I can honestly say it all turns into a blurred, happy memory and you can hardly remember what stressed you out so bad and what were your little disappointments.
Focus on the positive and don’t take anything for granted:
It’s easy to knit pick the small misunderstandings and frustrations, but I suggest to put your focus on the good intentions of those around you.
Keep in mind that from the outside looking in, it’s hard to understand how crucial and important every little detail is to you and even harder to grasp how overwhelming the wedding planning process can be. Be appreciative.
We were blessed enough to have had such incredible, loving friends and family members around us that made our wedding day and road towards the aisle such a dream and for that I’ll be forever humbled and grateful.
Try not to over drag the planning process:
I normally love taking my time and having things organised, so our 11 months of planning seemed like a good idea at first. As we went along I realised I just set myself up for eleven months of all things wedding as I had a hard time letting go. This sure took a toll on me, so if you know yourself to be a bit uptight, don’t drag your planning for over 4-5 months. It’s just enough time and you’ll enjoy it much better.
Use social media in moderation:
Wedding magazines, Pinterest and of course, wedding related Facebook groups are your best friends during this time but can also be your worst enemies. They’ll help you gain important insights, reach great ideas and even wonderful wedding suppliers, but can also make you loose perspective and confidence in your choices, not to mention consume your mind with many far – fetched worries. You’ll be amazed to learn how easily we forget it’s not a competition. Try leaving comparisons aside, they’ll only give you grief. Take advice only from those you believe share your style aesthetic and most of all – trust your instincts.
If you feel like it’s getting to you too much, leave it alone and come back when you feel like it, you’ll do just fine either way.
Keep photography in your top priorities:
Everyone has a different set of priorities and of course, a different budget, but if I had to define just one thing that’s the most important to invest in, it would hands down be good photography.
This doesn’t necessarily has to mean you need to hire the most expensive photographer out there, it only means you should put some effort and thought into finding someone who is creative, professional and meets your needs and style. It just isn’t the right place for compromises, once your carriage turns back into a pumpkin, photos (and video) are all that remains, so choose wisely.
Extra tip: If you feel that you might be a bit camera shy, besides the fact that a bit of vodka goes along way, consider doing an extra day of shoots. Though we personally decided to stick to our one day, I do think this can be a good idea that will help you let loose, get comfortable and gain important insights about your angles and posture.
Remember what it’s about:
When all is said and done, what’s left is your happily ever after. The rest is only meant to set the stage for the celebration of your love and commitment. The last thing you want is to have it drive a wedge in your relationship.
Try zooming out of your own head every so often, be sensitive to your partner and above all- be kind.
May you have the most wonderful, blissful wedding and the happiest life together!
Was this post helpful? Got any other important tips and insights?
I’d love to hear all about them, so please comment and let me know, looking forward to hearing your thoughts!
Photography by Ori Sadeh.